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Category: Stress and Trauma

An image of paper balls over a head to introduce an article on mental health accusations from the right-wing and how they pathologize reasonable people
When the Right Tries to Pathologize Reasonable People

When the Right Tries to Pathologize Reasonable People

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It wasn’t that long ago that someone accused Assertive Spirituality, once again, of having “TDS”—you know, “Tr*mp Derangement Syndrome.” And every time we post in support of trans folks, some right-wing troll seems to pop up to argue that trans people and those who support them are “sick in the head.” (For the record, both things are ridiculous in the ways I’m about to outline.) In this week’s blog post I plan to unwrap a few of the layers of…

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Picture of the term "demagogue" unwrapped to introduce an article on the rhetorical techniques of a "strongman" to demoralize reasonable folks
When a Strongman Tries to Demoralize Reasonable Folks

When a Strongman Tries to Demoralize Reasonable Folks

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So if you’re a reasonable person, you’re likely feeling a little—or a lot—down just now. I’m here to unwrap for you enough of the context behind why that’s happening, specifically how a particular–ahem–right-wing fascistic strongman has been working to try to make their opponents seem immoral and weak—to hopefully give you some oomph to get back up off that mat and keep working toward a healthier world for us all. And let’s be clear—I first wanted to write this post…

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An image of a bear lying on a log to introduce an article about man vs. bear and the privileges of safety
Man vs. Bear and the Privileges of Safety

Man vs. Bear and the Privileges of Safety

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the privileges of safety since this whole social media question started making the rounds on social media. You know, the one about whether you’d rather meet a man or a bear or whatever other variation in the woods (if you haven’t heard, many women when offered this question have been enthusiastically choosing the bear, and explaining their experiences and reasons for this). It makes sense that I’d been thinking about this, because the very…

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A picture of a clergyman officiating a wedding to introduce an article on clergy abuse and the halo effect
The Halo Effect and Clergy Sexual Abuse

The Halo Effect and Clergy Sexual Abuse

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So I’ve regularly taught about the halo effect in my interpersonal communication class, and it recently occurred to me that this concept helps unwrap a lot of the nuances around why clergy too often get away with sexual abuse and other abuses of power. This may seem obvious at first, but when I started to think about it it got a lot deeper than I thought it did. So stick with me as I begin to unwrap this topic and…

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picture of a woman with tented fingers at a computer to introduce a blog post on the unhealthy sides of seeing women as people pleasers
When Women Get Seen as People Pleasers (Especially in Complmentarianism)

When Women Get Seen as People Pleasers (Especially in Complmentarianism)

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So this week a TikTok got posted in one of the groups I’m in on Facebook about the oddness of the term “people pleaser.” That TikTok (here it is if you want to see it!) called out how the term gets applied in often strange ways—pointing out that people pleasing implies that someone’s being pleased, for instance, which often isn’t the case. That led my brain down the rabbit hole of all the concepts I teach in my university classes…

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Picture of middle aged woman's face close up to introduce an article on how mothers are often aging faster than presidents
When Mothers Are Aging Faster than Presidents

When Mothers Are Aging Faster than Presidents

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So I always teach a unit of my university courses on stress, because it has such an impact on communication. And I tend to show this video in class that talks about how mothers of disabled children are too often aging 6 years for every year of caregiving of a sick or disabled child. When I get to that point, I’ve taken to stopping the video lately to explain that presidents, for all the stress of their jobs, actually age…

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An image of tug of war to open an article about what happens when facts and ethics get seen as partisan
When Facts (and Ethics) Get Seen as Partisan

When Facts (and Ethics) Get Seen as Partisan

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I’m going to be real, here. Watching the rhetorical situation change over the last few years has been absolutely WILD from the perspective of teaching communication concepts in a university classroom as well as working through these things within this project. It’s been both fascinating and disturbing to see what it takes to teach students the basic principles of communication in a world where fascistic rhetoric is attempting to portray facts, ethics, and empathy as partisan, as well as to…

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A picture of checkboxes with Yes, No, and Maybe to introduce an article about the concept of consent
When Conservative Pastors Rail Against Consent

When Conservative Pastors Rail Against Consent

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So apparently there’s yet another conservative Christian article out about the theology of sex from a patriarchal perspective. (Apparently that narrative is super important to defend—all the eyeroll emojis.) Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to look that particular article up after the trainwreck that was the last one I wrote about, but hearing about it got me thinking this week about a sermon I heard a few years back from a nuanced but right-leaning pastor in which the idea of…

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Picture of two women talking to introduce a movie review of the film Women Talking
Women Talking and the Narrative of Possibility

Women Talking and the Narrative of Possibility

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This week I finally saw the Oscar-winning film Women Talking, which masterfully depicts women problem-solving how to respond a gigantic situation of systemic sexual abuse and assault by men in an isolated religious community. Today I want to take some of the tools of my trade—communication theory and narrative theory—to explain why I saw the film as an excellent expression of #AssertiveSpirituality on so many levels. Thanks for giving me a few minutes to see how I saw so much…

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Picture of a school hallway to introduce an article on the Nashville school shooting and the danger of a single story
The Nashville Shooting and The Danger of a Single Story

The Nashville Shooting and The Danger of a Single Story

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As I write this, we just passed Transgender Day of Visibility AND there was yet another school shooting this week. But this time it was at a Christian school in Nashville, and by a person who used they/them pronouns (find out more in this NPR story). So yeah, let’s be clear: this is the type of LGBTQ+ visibility that is likely to make the LGBTQ+ community rightfully terrified. After all, this is the kind of edge case situation that unhealthy…

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Image of woman putting on a smiley face to introduce an article about spiritual bypassing
The Unhealthy Rhetoric of Spiritual Bypassing

The Unhealthy Rhetoric of Spiritual Bypassing

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“Everything happens for a reason.” “She’s in a better place.” Some of us find these kinds of statements helpful, but others of us shudder when we hear them, especially when paired with other spiritual language. In this blog post I plan to unwrap some of the dynamics of why the thing termed spiritual bypassing can be toxic and harmful to a lot of people even when the same techniques and phrases help others. My Background and Standpoint As always, I’ll…

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the word "shame" on a background of torn up words that say shame to introduce an article on purity culture's unhealthy shame emphasis
When Shame–Er, Purity Culture—Becomes a God Term

When Shame–Er, Purity Culture—Becomes a God Term

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So this week I had the strange experience of re-reading the book Pure by Linda Kay Klein when an article came out suggesting that Evangelical missionary, martyr, and purity culture icon Jim Elliot seems to have longed for death at the end of his life because of struggle against something unspecified that he deemed a (sexual) sin. Considering Pure is an ethnographic study of the damage and trauma caused by the Evangelical purity culture movement that was in part pioneered…

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Letters that spell "Bullying Stops Here" to Introduce an article about standing up against bullies in both politics and child abuse
How to Respond When the Bullies (Seem to) Win

How to Respond When the Bullies (Seem to) Win

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I don’t know about you, but there are times in weeks like this past one when it just feels so much like however much progress we make, like the systems in place are just too flawed, and allow the bad guys—you know, the bullies and abusers—to win much much too often. In today’s piece I want to unwrap some of the dynamics of these issues and how to understand and healthily respond when things seem like this. (This is going…

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mortality definition to introduce an article on higher mortality rates in conservative states
When Mortality Rates Are Higher in Conservative States

When Mortality Rates Are Higher in Conservative States

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This week a USA Today article about mortality rates being higher in red states popped into my email inbox that would have been useful to speed my way to voting reasonably faster. That is, it would have had I seen it when I was still voting only based on narrowly “pro-life” views as I was conditioned to. I wish I could have seen it back then, but hopefully drawing your attention to it now will help encourage you and/or others…

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pictures to introduce a piece on how the Satanic panic poisoned the well of the debate around recovered memories of abuse
QAnon, the Satanic Panic, and Poisoning the Well Against Survivors

QAnon, the Satanic Panic, and Poisoning the Well Against Survivors

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Okay, so awhile back I blogged, as part of my series about William Cooper, the conspiracy theorist who popularized the word “sheeple,” about QAnon, who claims Cooper as an inspiration. In that post, I specifically talked about how QAnon, with its horrible SaveTheChildren hashtag, was poisoning the well and distracting from genuine cases of sex trafficking. Well, this week I plan to build on that work and connect it to a similar movement I’ve been seeing with people who are…

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